Today I went to pick up my nephew from his School. A 5 yearold boy was calling the teacher a "stupid cow". He then threw water at another child and then punched him in the face. The teacher went and told him that his behaviour wasn't acceptable but then he started kicking her, the teacher then took him away from the other child who was screaming. He then proceeded to tell the teacher that he was going to kill her.

Where do kids pick up these things from?! He goes to a Private Nursery School and none of the other kids say things like that from what I've seen. He comes from a wealthy family, they live on the same street as my parents and his parents are a charming people. Not that living in a Poor Area is an excuse for such bad behaviour but I wonder where a child as young as 5 learns these things from. What is happening to our society I ask with all these young kids drinking, doing drugs and youth crime.

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I often wonder the same thing. It's quite sad how society has evolved, and it's not just in certain social castes either -- it is everywhere. You just have to stop and wonder where people's priorities lie. I don't think there is an answer to this situation, although there are ways to *try* to prevent such things from occuring. As a parent, this is your biggest task - to do everything in your power to spare your child from such encounters as these, and to go about things in the "right" way.

Personally, I think the age of 5 is too young for a boy to start school. I've just read an extensive book on the problems with boys in recent years...and it has been researched and found that a boy's mind is not ready to engage in studies at the age of 5. Boys are a year behind girls mentally, and they need that extra year to "stomp the stink off", for lack of a better phrase. This is why so many young boys are being diagnosed with ADHD and must rely on calming medications for the rest of their lives. Video games can also be attributed to such matters.

As for the drink, drugs, and crime...I think that society has just not given children and youth enough to do, or else the things that we did as children are just not "cool" anymore. In any case, it is a frightening epidemic.

Just my opinion.

I'm not exactly grown up yet either, but I can definitely remember what it was like when I was that young. Yeah, at the age of 6, we were all a bit violent. I guess its like kids are growing up faster. For me? , I started being aware of stuff like drugs, crimes, death, etc. when I was about 8-9. And I guess it gets worse, almost every single school I've been to (which is about 4?) people around me either know where to get drugs, or they do drugs, come to school drunk, get pregnant, or bring alcohol to school..etc. I also hear about news from my elementary school or maybe middle school? where kids are getting suspended for bringing in drugs or vodka.

About a year ago, I was teaching some kids at church some different crafts and all, and I was completely shocked when they started cussing at each other and trying to beat each other up. And these guys were like around the ages of 4-5.

I have an odd feeling that it'll all just worse with time, and I dont really know what to do about it. Maybe its something to do with influences from the television, internet, and sometimes in the home. *sigh*

wish it wasnt like this though.

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Yes, it's quite sad and yeah, I can find that a bit shocking, but personally, I don't find it unexpected.

I find that I live in a society where within the younger population/lower bracket of my age group (i.e. teenagers/young adults), the motto appears to be "rules are made to be broken" or "authority sux" or something to that extent. So given my peers already think being a rebel, or being shocking, is a good thing to be, I'm not that surprised that young children are adopting these attitudes too.

Kids are always easily influenced by what they see. OK, so the kid in your example lives in what might be a secure and good environment and has many privileges, but who knows what he watches on tele or what drama goes on in the family or who he's been watching/listening to... 'cause phrases like 'stupid cow' don't just come out of nowhere. Obviously he's heard it somewhere.

The tragedy of it all, IMO, is not that the kid is doing/saying such things, because in the end, he's 5, so he's still learning about having values in life, and complex things like that, but that those older than him, who should already know about values and the difference between good and bad, have already made choices and their choices aren't always the best for society.

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I guess one explanation, which casta touched on, as to where the boy picked up such behaviour is possibly television and video games. Simple cartoons (as a random example in my head, the simpsons) display scenes of mild to moderate violence in them. Video games are another big contributer, although at the age of 5 that's probably less likely. Has the child got older siblings that might be playing violent games or watching tv not suitable for him?

As regards to kids behaviour in general... I've only been to one primary school, thence leading on to one secondary school (including my time in 6th form). And yes, i don't live at the "nice" end of my town, and so naturally i was friends with the "bad" kids (school bullies etc)... And some of them were smoking in primary school... Probably from about the age of 9 or 10. I admit that was a select few, from pretty bad families (not that that should be an excuse). But it's weird, I was really good friends with these people, and although I tried my first cigarette aged 10 (which end with me coughing my lungs up and other than another try again when I was 15 having never had a cigarette since)... I've never smoked, never done ANY sort of drugs; (I know some who say they don't do drugs, but then smoke weed, and say "that doesn't count"- it does!)

But yeah, I expect kids in primary school today are no different to how it was in my day. Which now I'm older really does seem scarily young to be doing such things... I'm sure I had a point somewhere in the midst of all this rambling.... Sorry, I think I've lost it :( Basically, in my experience, a lot of things kids do is parent-dependent.... I don't mean to say that really good parents can't have a kid that just runs wild and is a rebel in general... But I mean often enough if there isn't enough discipline or the kids seeing the parents doing something (smoking for example) they will probably eventually pick it up. In my opinion of course.

Video games and exposure to swearing and violence on TV and in music do contribute in part to kids's bad behaviour, but the main reason I think is that children know that they can get away with it. Teachers and parents are far less strict now than they were in the past and children know that however they behave, their parents will still buy them what they want and their teachers will still carry on in the same way. I'm not saying that we need a return to corporal punishment (which wouldn't work anyway because it would put teachers in risk with the current knife and gun culture) but unless children are taught discipline from a young age (when they start school) they will have the tendency to show a lack of respect throughout their childhood and perhaps even into adulthood.

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Yeah, that's what I was trying to touch on when saying about it being partly down to the parents... Kids need discipline. And that was the difference between me and a lot of my friends when I was young. My parents disciplined, my best friend for example, her parents didn't really give a crap and let her do her own thing. She now has no qualifications (except from a few low-grade gcse's), no job and is a drug addict. Needless to say her and I don't speak often anymore. I mean, that is an extreme example and is down to far more than just the parenting... But it's still a big factor.

hm, bout what katt and sparrow were talking about. My parents never really disciplined me like that and I ended up this way. XD sorta the goody-two-shoes. I really have no idea where my values came from, why Im not like my friends in the fact that they start cussing whenever something goes wrong. or why I try to be nice to everyone? All I know is, it doesnt have that much to do with my parents..

I have a friend who was in like...the strictest house i've ever heard of, (no television, no computer games, always doing homework, doing homework her parents give her..practicing piano for.....hours and hours, even 6 hours at a time....etc) but she ended up rebelling....just not letting her parents know about whatever she does.

I'm not sure why its like this, sometimes parenting doesnt always bring about these behaviors and sometimes it does? Discipline can work both ways too :)

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I think there's got to be a balance. The phrase "all work and no play" might be appropriate here. If parents are tooo strict of course kids are going to rebel and lie. My parents for exapmple are the biggest prudes you'd ever meet. In their eyes you have to be with a boyfriend for like 6 months before they'd even let me stay over his house... Which is annoying, I mean, I'm 18, I'm not sleeping around with every guy I know, but they just don't trust me. So of course I do things behind their back, tell lies that I'm staying with girl mates etc.

Basically as I see it, being disciplined from 2 through to about 8 or 9 is a good thing. Then from then on in, kind of be less strict. I can remember getting smacked (Oh yes, indeed) for several years, for FAIRLY trivial things. I mean, nothing like major. But I learnt not to do those things, and respect my parents. (Crying baby. "Have you smacked this child?" "No." "Why not?!") And oddly, I'm pretty well balanced. It's the formative years when the child is also too young that a parent has to stamp authority over them. I don't approve of parents who let their kids run riot and go "It's a stage." I don't tell my parents everything, but equally, I don't lie about what I do. If they ask, I say. Otherwise I shan't.

About what I posted, I didn't mean living under a regimental household but in a household where if the child did something wrong, they knew that they wouldn't get their way. My parents weren't particularly strict but I knew that if I started swearing or being rude to them, they wouldn't accept it and I'd get an earful. It also has a lot to do with how your parents act themselves because in your early years, all you see are your parents and they are your most important role models.

There are a whole host of explanations of why there is a lot of bad behaviour from kids these days, going from being spoilt too much to indiscipline to lack of attention from parents. On the last point, it may have a lot to do with children not getting enough quality time with their parents because of the long working hours in the UK, in which case the problem is far deeper in society.

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Not only in the UK, it is everywhere. I think you're getting onto something there - the western world is such a rat race that people don't put in the time for their children. I read something this morning that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have left their 4 month old twins at home to vacation in Europe. Hello? First of all, a 4 month old baby does not recognize someone after not seeing them for about 5 days, so their nanny is going to quickly become their mother (as I guess many celebrity children are raised). Secondly, why would you want to leave your child for longer than is absolutely necessary?

Children have become a fashion statement for many people, and the goal to raise a decent human being is being left by the wayside. Children are a duty rather than a joy. Someone to entertain rather than someone to be entertained by.

It is rather depressing to think about.

Casta, I could not agree with you more there. =) Unfortunately =|

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Actually, yeah, XD church does influence a lot of who i am. and its pretty nice that way. Mostly all of my friends are at church and we're all pretty behaved children.....I guess a lot also has to do with the fact that we grow up with each other. While we may have friends that may not be the best influences XD we're closer with each other and sorta support each other in doing stuff that doesnt involve drugs or drinking and whatnot. Its like...amazing being with them all :) everyone being so nice, like, absolutely no drama at all going on, and we all know each other. but church is so not the only influence in the lives of children atm :)

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