We have a forum astrologer {{{cherryhunnie}}} and to complete the set you need someone who you can ask any question to :biggrin:

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Ask Aunty Facey...:smile:

OOoOOolalalalalala..

I was wondering.. *cough.. where do babies really come from??
/me smiles innocently

Hiya aunty Facey ,

well please tell me, does my bum look big in this dress,

hugs

Dear Auntie Facey:

When my little sister was born 18 years ago, I asked my mummy where she came from (I was 4 at the time). My aunt spoke up and said, "God brought her down" and pointed out the window. I looked outside and saw only the hopsital carpark.

Where do babies really come from?

Signed,
A Confused Nerd (lol, there's a contradiction!)

EDIT: Amandi! :o You beat me! We think too alike! lol

/me huggs MsNerd <3

Now we wait for a reply from dear auntie Facey.. don't keep us waiting now :D

Hiya aunty Facey ,
well please tell me, does my bum look big in this dress,

Most certainly not, Jewels. That dress looks fabulous on you!! On a trip to Marks and Spencer once, I asked MrFacey if the dress I was trying on made me look fat. To which he replied "No, your fat makes you look fat" :eek: That's all I'm prepared to say but blimey police cells are cold at night. Anyway, never let anyone tell you that :smile:

I was wondering.. *cough.. where do babies really come from??
Dear Auntie Facey:
When my little sister was born 18 years ago, I asked my mummy where she came from (I was 4 at the time). My aunt spoke up and said, "God brought her down" and pointed out the window. I looked outside and saw only the hopsital carpark.

Where do babies really come from?

Signed,
A Confused Nerd (lol, there's a contradiction!)
You both pose a very interesting question. One which many have required the answer to. I shall answer in two parts. Firstly, babies are a gift from God. To save poor mummys from heartburn, constipation and leaking breasts in Tescos (I could go on for hours), he sends them via a stork (they're quicker than UPS) so they arrive just in time for mummy's holiday to the labour ward. Secondly, my dear nerdy, if you are referring to AJ then only God knows :eek:
What's the meaning of life?
Tash {{hugs}}, this is the most difficult question of all to answer. The meaning of life is something that is individual to you, and you alone. You need to find within yourself what you feel your purpose is. Each one of us is given a gift (maybe two if you're lucky) and I would say that the meaning of life is found in that gift. If we all found and used these gifts in the way they are intended to be used, we would be able to work together, as one, to making 'life' the most valuable, meaningful thing created.

Never forget your gifts.
EDIT: Amandi! We think too alike!
:eek: God forbid...*drops her head in her hands*
don't keep us waiting now :D
Patience, my young canadian friend, is a vulture...or is it a virtue?? One or the two...

All my love, Aunty Facey xxxxx

Dear aunty Facey,
Do fingers fing? Do trousers trouse? Or just pant?
Also, could bill gates himself warm up a burrito so hot in the microwave that nobody, not even him could eat it?

Dear Auntie Face-ache,

My husband comes from bonnie Scotland, but something has always bothered me. He is from Glasgow and considers himself Glaswegian.If a person comes from Aberdeen they are known as an Aberdonian. Similarly, a person from Fife is known as a Fifer. My big question therefore is: what would that make someone from Edinburgh? A Burger perhaps? :razz:

/me flies off quickly....

Dear aunty Facey,
Do fingers fing? Do trousers trouse? Or just pant?
Also, could bill gates himself warm up a burrito so hot in the microwave that nobody, not even him could eat it?
My dear 2, the most delectable of our greenies, thank you for asking such probing questions. I shall answer them in the order asked.

Firstly, where I live, ‘fing’ is a most undesirable word. I will not go into details because dear Aunty Facey does not wish to be associated with such filth but let’s just say that fingers do infact fing and the males are very grateful for it.

Secondly, to ‘trouse’ is to exit with style so I would say that as long as your trousers are washed, ironed, are smelling nice and are modelled by your good-looking self; they would trouse, not pant :biggrin:

Lastly, Bill Gates, I’m sure dear Bill has enough money to invent a microwave that would heat a burrito up so fast that it’s in the blink of an eye and so hot that to even touch it would cause pain so great that it would be immeasurable :twisted: It would serve him right, all the damn money he takes from us for his so damned expensive software that has so many bugs and faults in it that if it was a ship, it would sink worse than the Titanic…Oh sorry for that little outburst my dear listeners, Aunty Facey got a little bit carried away there…
Dear Auntie Face-ache,

My husband comes from bonnie Scotland, but something has always bothered me. He is from Glasgow and considers himself Glaswegian.If a person comes from Aberdeen they are known as an Aberdonian. Similarly, a person from Fife is known as a Fifer. My big question therefore is: what would that make someone from Edinburgh? A Burger perhaps?
My dear clock-features, Aunty Facey even has time for you (Time get it?? Hahaha Oh I crack myself up sometimes…)

Aaaaaanyway, Edinburgh, isn’t that were that nice rock comes from? Yummy! Auntie Facey loved getting Edinburgh Rock from Whitley Bay as a little girl :smile: And oh, the Tattoo, that’s a very bonnie show.

Without wanting to upset the poor dears (let us not forget that we did build the wall to keep them out…), it is the God’s honest truth that in London we call them ‘Sweaties’ :razz:

With all my love, Aunty Facey xxxxx

Secondly, my dear nerdy, if you are referring to AJ then only God knows :eek:

lol! Yup, I was referring to AJ.. :razz: And that story was true, btw, heh. Some days I do believe that the aliens from Mars dropped her off in the carpark, but who knows?
We had better hope that AJ isn't reading this thread!
/me puts the blame on Facey and runs off..

Dear aunty facey.
What did come first, the chicken or the egg.
And can you please give me a detailed account if you know the answer please thanks.
Cherry hides a snicker behind her hand:embarrassed:

* MsNerdinator puts the blame on Facey and runs off..

You can't blame Aunty Facey, nerdy. She knows it was you :twisted:

Dear aunty facey.
What did come first, the chicken or the egg.
And can you please give me a detailed account if you know the answer please thanks.
Cherry hides a snicker behind her hand:embarrassed:
Ooooo I'll do anything for a snickers :razz: Aunty Facey thanks you very muchly indeed, my dear.

My, you have asked Aunty Facey a very difficult question indeed, you little rascal you! Aunty Facey has always thought that the chicken came first. Here's the most detailed account that I can provide at this moment in time; I pull out my Bible and look to Genesis 1 verse 24:..."let the earth produce all kind of animal life: domestic and wild, large and small"...This was the sixth day. In my opinion, because God created animal life, he created the chicken first, who then reproduced. Now I know there's alot of evolution to go in there, which I do believe fits in side by side with the Bible, but I still think that the chicken would be created first.

I hope this is of some use to you.

All my love, Aunty Facey xxxxxx

Auntie Facey, since you've been answering everyone else's questions so well, could you please tell me what I got in my mock exams?

Tash, hon, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're are such an intelligent lass and you're going to do really well in your mocks. Sorry, Aunty Facey tried to bribe the examiners to get your results but alas, they were un-bribable :razz:

Lots of love, Aunty Facey xxxxxx

Dear Auntie Facey,

Did you have a lovely birthday? :razz:

Oh I'm very sweet :biggrin: And aparently, always right too! Congratulations on your good marks xxx

Rome is beautiful, ignore all the horrible people, they'll just spoil what is such a loverly place. Go and have fun! (Or send the horrible people to me, I'll deal with them :twisted:)

Dear Auntie Facey,
Did you have a lovely birthday?
Awe, thank you very much for asking Nerdy. Yes, Aunty Facey had a nice birthday ty xxxx Got no presents yet but the beautiful verses in the well thought cards were enough for me this year.



Lots of love xxxxxx

Dear Auntie Facey
What will you do to them? :twisted:
Ahem, Aunty Facey can't say that out loud :twisted: If I told you, I'd have to kill you I'm afraid. It's better that you don't know :razz:

Lots of Love xxxxx

Dear Aunty Facey

please could you tell me the answers to cherrys quiz,cos i havent got time to look for them .

thanks very much

tupps xxx

Dear Aunty Facey

please could you tell me the answers to cherrys quiz,cos i havent got time to look for them .

thanks very much

tupps xxx

Tuppss {{hugs}}

Aunty Facey is shocked to the core that you would ask her to participate in such dealings! Cheating on a test :eek: My goodness me. But Aunty Facey knows how busy you have been, that little boy of yours keeps you on your toes, I'm sure! So, I could give you my answers and say that I worked for you. You'd have to pay me though...:razz: A huge bag of Malteasers should do it :biggrin:

Lots of love xxxxx

Dear Aunt Face-Ache,

How many maltesers are there in a standard size bag?

Dear Aunty Facey,

Would it be wrong to beat up my Social teacher?

Dear Aunty Facey,
Should I visit Gracie in jail after she goes there for beating up the Social teacher?

Aunty Facey apologies for not answering these questions sooner but MrFacey banned her from the outside world for a few days...
**quick before he sees**
How will I know if it's worth it to send them to you then??
Trust, Tash, is one of the best things in life :twisted:
Dear Aunt Face-Ache,
How many maltesers are there in a standard size bag?
Aunty Facey couldn't let down such a wonderful clock like yourself. So, purely in the name of research, I went and bought two bags of Malteasers. In a standard-size bag of White Malteasers, there are 17. Oh the things I do for you lot...:rolleyes:...I then had to eat them all, I couldn't waste them. Bang goes the diet this week...
Dear Aunty Facey,
Would it be wrong to beat up my Social teacher?
Gracie, hon, why would you want to do that?! Isn't it better to keep your enemies closer than your friends? Trust me, it works better that way :twisted:
Dear Aunty Facey,
Should I visit Gracie in jail after she goes there for beating up the Social teacher?
Ask yourself this, would they let you back out?! :razz:

All my love xxxxx

Dear auntie Facey,

Why are people such poopooheads sometimes (including myself)? :razz:
Okay, so research shows that people find two things hard to do..
1. To ask for help, and
2. To apologise. I'm sorry.

The former, I understand, 'cause sometimes I don't feel like asking for help out of fear that I'm just an inconvenience. I'd rather try and help myself out more instead. But yes, we all hesitate when it comes to asking for help sometimes.

However, what is the issue with not being able to say "I'm sorry"? Clearly most people feel it, so why it is so hard to say it? I find it quite easy, 'cause I'm a say what you feel kind of person. And yeah, I do know the answer to it, but I thought it would be fun to ask auntie :razz:

Signed
Nerdyhead

My dear nerdypants,
Aunty Facey is pleased you have asked such perceptive, probing questions. This post will be a long one...:D
Okay, so research shows that people find two things hard to do..
Research...ok...I live by experience so have alot to say about these two questions.
1. To ask for help
Now, in my experience, it's mainly men that don't do this or those that do, do it in a whiney voice. Like, asking if we're going in the right direction :twisted: MrFacey will not do it, ever! Why? Because he thinks he's so superior to everyone that he can't ask...he doesn't need to aparently...because he already knows everything. Of course we know men don't, they just won't ask because then people will know they don't know everything and that is a sign of weakness and heaven forbid they show some weakness. I believe this stems back to caveman days and protection. Evolution?! Nothing's changed as far as I can see :razz:
(Aunty Facey realises that men won't appreciate her critising but she doesn't care :P)
2. To apologise. I'm sorry.
Someone who can apologise with no qualms is a saint. Even Aunty Facey has troubles apologising sometimes. There are two hiccups with apologies:

The first is that few like to admit they wrong and for some people, apologising is seen as a way of 'giving in' to the other side. That's not what apologies are about but there's no telling these people. So they refuse to apologise because they're right don't you know?! :twisted: These are the same people who demand apologies from everyone else because the world owes them one. The last I checked, no-one owes anyone anything. Life and friends are a priviledge. End of.

The second is that there are times when people genuinely are not at fault and are the ones owed the apology but then this goes back to one huge vicious circle with my first point.

Aunty Facey's Remedy: If you think you may have upset someone, apologise. Even if they're not upset, it shows you care. If you have been hurt and feel you are owed an apology, talk to the other party. They may not know how you're feeling and vice-versa. If someone's demanding an apology for the sake of it (and let's face it, we all know people like that), apologise that they're upset but don't apologise for anything you've said. You have rights!!
Why are people such poopooheads sometimes (including myself)?
Pppfffttt, speak for yourself!! Oh, you are :twisted:

Lots of love
Aunty Facey
xxxxxx

Dear Aunt Face-Ache,

Thank you for the malteser test.... now then... in a standard bag of revels.. how many orange creams are in there compared to all the other flavours? I always seem to get 10 orange creams to one coffee which is blinking irritating!

Dear Auntie Facey,

What should I do about a teacher who doesn't seem to care anymore?

Auntie Facey, when will it stop raining? :(
What do I look like Michael Fish??!! :twisted: I hear it's going to be storms today though.
Dear Aunt Face-Ache,

Thank you for the malteser test.... now then... in a standard bag of revels.. how many orange creams are in there compared to all the other flavours? I always seem to get 10 orange creams to one coffee which is blinking irritating!
Are you trying to break my diet on purpose?! You naughty little clock, you! I'll take a trip to me little corner shop and get back to you :-)
Dear Auntie Facey,

What should I do about a teacher who doesn't seem to care anymore?
Hmmmm, this is a tough one! It all depends how they're expressing it. Personally, I would talk to thier boss or superior but I'm a grass :razz: But tbh, that's only worthy if they're not teaching you well. Keep yourself interested in the subject and show them that you want to learn :smile: Teachers can feel very worthless sometimes and maybe they just need a little encouragement to perk them up again! And yes, that includes behaving :twisted:

All my love, Aunty Facey
xxxxxxxx

What do I look like Michael Fish??!!

Dear aunty facey,
are you trying to be funny? Cos your avatar is a fish. If you're not Michael fish, does that make you Mrs fish? Are your relatives chips? :twisted:

Dear Auntie Facey,
Who's Michael Fish?
Oh you young 'uns. So sweet, so clueless :eek: :razz:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/weather/bbcweather/forecasters/michaelfish_faq.shtml

Dear aunty facey,
are you trying to be funny?
Firstly, I don't try to be funny, I am funny.
Cos your avatar is a fish.
Your point being?
If you're not Michael fish, does that make you Mrs fish?
Er, no! I'd rather be a seahorse tyvm. What's with them anyway?! Are they horses that swim or something?! Pfffttttt, sounds to me like they couldn't think of a better name.
Are your relatives chips?
Oi, don't you knock them! Ok, you can knock southern chips, they're mmmmmanky. Good northern chips in beef dripping's what everyone needs. Bloomin southerners, think they know it all :twisted:

All my love, Aunty Facey
xxxxx

Dear Aunty Facey,

what do you do when your sister's a serious pre-med student and your mom's a nurse, and they start arguing about the amount of bacteria on the floor? should i stay out of it? referee it?

is 5' 7.5" short? I like to think i'm average (in many ways).
Please confirm. I need guidance!

Dear Aunty Facey,

what do you do when your sister's a serious pre-med student and your mom's a nurse, and they start arguing about the amount of bacteria on the floor? should i stay out of it? referee it?
Stay out of it! You don't want to get caught in that whirlwind :razz: It's for your own saftey. There'll be more bacteria on the floor after they're done. Does it matter though? Do they eat off of it? :eek:

is 5' 7.5" short? I like to think i'm average (in many ways).
Please confirm. I need guidance!
*Aunty Facey gets her tape measure out
5' 7.5" is NOT short. You can be whatever you want to be. Others may laugh, like the time I wanted to be a train, but stuff them. You're the only one that matters :biggrin:

TF, my dear clock, Aunty Facey hasn't forgotton about your dillema and the Revels. I haven't bought any yet! Perhaps I should e-mail them with your complaint and see what the little nabs have to say about it:biggrin:

Lots of love,
Aunty Facey
xxxxx