Ok so I've been thinking a lot lately. I'm 18, and have just passed my driving test 2 months or so ago. I hated driving right from the start, it actually scared the hell out of me. I can't exactly explain why, but it's just like some people have fears of going to the dentist, or of rollercoasters. You know it's more or less safe, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. Anyway, I had to go through 9 months of torture, including taking 3 tests because my parents forced me to learn, that wasn't my choice (which was annoying as I had to pay for it all).

Ok so my parents have always taken me the 10 minute drive to work, 4 times a week, and 2 of those 4 times a week i get a lift home with one of the chefs. This leaves saturday night and sundays, which they never had a problem with before, as my (now ex) boyfriend used to do it... However now I've split up with him my parents (understandably) are getting sick and tired of having to take me to/from work...

I really really hate driving. I had a car for the first 2 weeks after i passed and i hated it, it just made me burst out crying knowing I'd have to drive it, and I can't explain why. When forced to do it I'd be physically shaking all over which made it all the more difficult to actually drive. And I really can't bring myself to drive to/from work, often enough in the dark, along tiny little winding country roads...

Basically the point of this epicly long post is... What should I do? I'm only going to be here for another 2 months before I go to uni, so it's not a long-term problem. But for those next 2 months I need to sort something out for work. Taxi's are expensive and getting a bus is possible for a few of the shifts but not most of them, especially the evening finishes (10:30 or later). I understand my parents annoyance but I just can't bring myself to drive. Not to mention that it is really expensive, and being on minimum wage I can barely afford it.

I feel for you I have been driving for a long time and I am still not keen on it.
But you do have to get on with it.
You probably know this and don't want to here it.
If you still have your car drive it to work with one of them in the car so they can drive it home and then come and collect you, they can drive home in the dark until you are ready.

Lol.

Apart from just dealing with it... if I were you, this is what I'd do:

a. make a deal with my parents - for driving me back from work, I'll do something for them. I dunno, considering I never cook, I'll make dinner twice a week, or something... something that'll balance out the time and effort they put in for you, basically.

b. get a friend to drive you back, and pay him/her for petrol

c. car pool with people who live sort of close to you and share petrol costs

d. learn to drive a motorbike :biggrin:

Well you passed your driving test for a reason, so I'd assume you're able to drive. And you shouldn't be too scared if you know you can drive.

You could walk. Cal me old fashioned, but ten minutes by car is only an hour at most. And it clears your mind. Admittedly it's not so much fun in the rain. Or dark (Presumably that's when you work). However, people used to walk, and they were fine. Consider it a daily exercise regime and boast about it to peers. Feel free to embellish and say you killed a rogue lion from a zoo, and saved a baby. Cycling is even better, as it's easier, and more time-efficient. But the rogue lion tale loses something if you cycle.

You could walk. Cal me old fashioned, but ten minutes by car is only an hour at most.
You either have shorter legs than me or you walk at snail pace; how on earth is a 10 minute drive = a one hour walk? lol. Takes me about 20-30 minutes tops.

KittyKatt, you say your job pays you minimum wage, sorry to be a pessimist, but is it even worth working if you have to pay for petrol? My sister drives me to work every week whilst I learn to drive and I have to pay for petrol every now and then seeing as it can take up to half an hour to get me there on a good day! One of the things I considered when I took on this new job was the distance, money and time spent travelling and prices I charge. Not to mention labour :smile:

I dunno what public transport is like in Wiltshire but I doubt its as expensive as getting around in London. Couldn't you buy a weekly bus pass or travel card? Wouldn't that work out cheaper? Or if your shifts are during the day, walk it like DemiGod suggested. (I wouldn't advise walking alone at night, but that could just be me)

Congratulations on passing your driving test btw, if you passed it means you're capable of driving and that's a good thing. Maybe driving is the safest option, after all, not many people feel safe on public transport. Yeah you're new on the roads but don't let this fear get to you. You might panic a bit but that's ok. Nobody is expecting you to be able to race around roads like a maniac. A slower driver is often a safer one :) (and one who gets beeped at a lot more lol).

Yeah in my first 2 weeks when i was driving on my "own" (mostly had my bf with me) I got beeped a hell of a lot just because i was (and am) absolutely terrified. I don't usually finish work in the evenings until 10:30-11ish at the earliest (except in the week when it's a bit quieter)... And my parents don't me walking on my own, along narrow twisting roads with no pavement at night. TBH they'd barely let me do it in the day. Public transport is fine in the day, but stops at 6pm here. So a travel card is out of the question as i work from 6:30-11ish.
The job probably isn't worth it, you're right, but I do need some form of income, and currently I am paying my parents nothing to take me, as they wouldn't take money from me like that. But having no job for the next 2 months (until uni) is a weird thought. Nothing to fuel going to the pub at the weekend :P No but on a serious note, i don't like the thought of 2 motnhs without a job...
As for just "dealing with it"... I /have/ still got the car (but it's for sale at my dad's garage)... But sorting out insurance for just 2 months before i go to uni (i'm not taking a car to uni as in southampton I just won't need one) would be a pain in the bottom.
I honestly think i got lucky on the test day btw :P I failed my first 2 tests horrifically and my instructor wasn't happy for me going for another test, but my parents insisted... No idea how I passed.

Getting used to driving by yourself is hard, so maybe you can take small trips around your neighborhood to get used to it. When you are going out with your parents, offer to drive so you get the experience. I've been driving for 5 years and still get freaked out by the crazy drivers on the road and start panicking and its been worse lately since I got into a car accident two months ago. Its something I will get over and some days I just want to pull over and not drive anymore. The only thing you can really do, is get in the car and go and it will become easier over time. Some of the other people made good suggestions about having your parent drive with you to work. Its up to you what you want to do, need to think long and hard about it. If you don't overcome your fear now, it will just get worse over the years. You will be only have to drive for the next two months but you need to think about the future too, once you become older- you will be driving a lot more.

/me hugs kattt
....good luck with your decision and don't think you are the only one going through this. I have other friends and even family members that didn't want to drive for a while. Tell your parents how you feel about driving and they can work something out with you :)

You either have shorter legs than me or you walk at snail pace; how on earth is a 10 minute drive = a one hour walk? lol. Takes me about 20-30 minutes tops.



Ok, I am not good at math, so bear with me.

I live 10 minutes drive from the next town where I buy gas and groceries. It is a little more than 8 miles. So, at a walking pace of 3 miles an hour, that would be a 2 1/2 hour walk. If you are walking at a faster pace, it would take less time, but not 20 minutes.

I used to walk a lot for exercise and I could do 2 miles in 30 minutes, which would be 4 miles in an hour. But that would still be 2 hours to go for a ten minute drive. Or maybe the 10 minute drive is actually a shorter distance than my 10 minute drive. I wonder how many miles the work is from the home.

It's because AJ lives in London; where a 10 minute drive is about the length of a street :rolleyes:

lol @ Hinty

Kitty, people aren't beeping you because you're terrified... they're beeping you because they're impatient... well... naughty people.

When I first passed my test I was afraid to drive... I think if you don't have some sense of trepidation you're not normal anyhow. Unfortunately I had to drive, absolutely had to, for my job. I spent a lot of time getting lost, getting beeped at (for being in the wrong lane usually, lol) and getting flashed by impatient drivers... If I wanted to sit in the middle lane all the way to where I was going... it as my right! Damn it! lol

Now I'm a confident driver, but I don't relish it like some people do, it's to get from A to B.

A green 'just passed' L plate will help you with a multitude of sins. It's just about confidence. I still see driving as a necessary evil, and I think you must be able to drive, you passed your test, your hazard perception and your theory! Don't give yourself a hard time about it, I think it's normal to be a phased.

Take your time, don't be rushed by nimrods, and remind yourself all the time, that you're in charge of that car... not the other way around!

Personally I wouldn't advise driving on green P plates, for one reason - the kind of idiot who harries other drivers, beeping them and so on, are even more likely to take advantage if they see you're a noobie behind the wheel. I've had idiots flash me whilst I've been in the 'fast lane' of the motorway, so that I'd either speed up or move over - yet I've been going over the 70mph limit at the time! That really annoys me, I'm sure it's because I drive such a small car that they think it's okay to bully - it's this mentality that leads to them taking liberties with learners/new drivers.

As my instructor taught me; there are speed limits for a reason, so if an idiot is pushing you to speed up and exceed that speed, don't! Drive within the limit and, best you can, ignore the idiocy. Observe the rules you were taught, focus on keeping yourself safe.

Finally; I won't go into details here, PM me if you want to know, but I HAD to learn to drive and it was akin to climbing Mount Everest for me. But, I did it - and now I've been on the roads a while I really enjoy the freedom it offers. Doubtless you'll feel the same given a few months.

Oh, and just be glad you're in Wiltshire and not North London - down here I've seen road rage involving baseball bats (and no, I didn't cause it:razz:)

http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&hl=en&geocode=&saddr=Malmesbury,+Wiltshire,+SN16+0QR,+UK&daddr=sherston,+wiltshire&sll=37.0625,-95.677068&sspn=39.371738,71.191406&ie=UTF8&ll=51.581977,-2.160702&spn=0.060481,0.139046&z=13

According to that google maps, 9 minutes (so my guess of 10 wasn't bad); 4.9 miles, for whoever was asking the distance.

I guess it's not a case of being rushed, and just getting the guts to do it. I really don't think I will pluck up the courage. I dunno. Maybe. Sorting out insurance is the other big issue. Expensive. Meep. Just text my manager asking for a few shift changes so I'm working more lunchtimes than evenings, which means I can get busses. He said he'll see what he can do.

4.9 miles, at, you know, 4 miles an hour (A rule I thought generally accepted) walking pace means ABOUT an hour. Which means I was right. And besides, I find walking isn't about destination, otherwise there are many more efficient ways to do it, it's more to do with the fresh, open air, and a sense of oneness with the world. This was less a helpful hint, more a correction of people saying I'm a slow walker. On a more helpful note, if you're walking at night, wear white clothes. Unless you're like that man who followed the tips and then went out completely in white, and got run over by a snowplow. Yes, stealing jokes from the Two Ronnies is what I'm reduced to.

It's because AJ lives in London; where a 10 minute drive is about the length of a street :rolleyes:
As much as I'd like to call you a cheeky git that's actually true lol. From my house to the next area/town is about a half hour walk and that's just normal walking and normal sized steps for a short person. But yeah, driving takes about 10-15 minutes cos of the traffic. There's always bloody traffic in London. Oh and traffic lights, no matter what you get stopped at all of them!

Were all waiting, let us know what you decide.

Not sure. Gunna talk to my manager tonight and try and reshuffle some shifts as I said. Was talking to him around 2am on facebook :P and he was quite worried about me, bless him.

I love it
"talking to my manager on facebook at 2am"
God I feel old

Hehe, well the manager of my pub is only late 20's himself. Don't feel old Saff, you're not!

er....................ok XD

/me hugs Saffron

So with most phobias, and even certain metal illnesses, [not saying you have one] they give them direct therapy. In this, they put the person with the phobia close to the object or whatever, and allow them not to see the danger or to get used to it.

I'm not to keen on even driving with my friends, but I can give you a suggestion.

Go on small drives, not huge and long ones; gas being the way it is. Just go out and get used to it some more. Even if it's going around the block, or whatever you can handle. Build up on it, and eventually tell your parents you'll help them with an errand or something like that. I'm not saying it will work for you, but I am giving you an idea to help you.

I didn't read through everyone's post, so if someone already said this: I'm sorry.