This story (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1162401/Will-sleep-Downs-syndrome-son-Mother-makes-appeal-lover-21-year-old-Otto.html)rather intrigued me of how a mother is appealing for women to have sex with her son, who has Down's Syndrome.

Even goes as far as leaving the possibility of having to pay for prostitutes :eek:

The person concerned has their own bebo page (http://www.bebo.com/Profile.jsp?MemberId=2708667167) and I dunno what to make of certain comments on it :rolleyes:

Wow, what a coincidence... I was just talking to a friend the other day about how it seems to me that (Western) society (generally) puts sex up on on some kind of pedestal and worships it as some kind of ultimate goal. Wanting someone to have a relationship and asking for women to be more understanding and open-minded about (having relationships with) people with Down's, I can understand, but appealing to women to have sex with him because he's 21 and still a virgin, is a bit in your face, I think.

I would prefer to see him with a girlfriend who doesn't have Down's.

That's a bit biased I think. A woman with Down's is also a woman with emotions and feelings and who would also want to find love. A bit unfair to discriminate on something that affects her own son, I feel.

That's a bit biased I think. A woman with Down's is also a woman with emotions and feelings and who would also want to find love. A bit unfair to discriminate on something that affects her own son, I feel.
It's her adopted son. And I agree, I think that is discrimination of some sort... Thing is one could easily argue "I'm fat but I wouldn't like to date someone else who was fat" and seeing as people don't usually have a problem with that she could say it's the "same thing".

I think it's nice that Otto wants to put himself out there and because (by the sounds of it) he's a healthy 21 year old living with Down's and is capable of doing more than other people with the same illness then it shows he's more able to have a better standard of living. The chances are he could live longer, by the sounds of it he's a good actor and does quite a lot for himself.

I feel slightly embarrassed for him. I dont really like the way his adopted mother has gone about 'looking for sex for him'. I mean if I was single and really wanted to put myself out there I'd join dating sites like match.com and whatever else is out there. I'd fill out my profile with likes, dislikes, ideal partner details and so on. But I really wouldn't say "hey, I'm looking to lose my virginity, please have sex with me ASAP otherwise I'll have to find a prostitute". It sounds so desperate coming from a person with no disabilities and a lot worse (imho) for someone like Otto.

I don't know if it's just the way the article has put it but it sounds like his adopted mother just wants him to have sex for the sake of it and to make him feel "normal". That I don't agree with. If he's the sort who is happy to have a few girlfriends and experiment, fine. But the way I read it comes across as him wanting to 'fit in' and it makes me feel sorry for him. I think he's got a lovely life as it is, friends, holidays, has a good hobby and has the looks too! So I think, as with most things, he should just follow the flow of life. I can't help but feel some girl out there will have guilt sex with him or some prostitute will do it just for the money. What is he actually wants someone to love and for them to love him back rather than just a one night stand?

We don't hear much about it but there are cases of people with disabilities getting married, settling down and starting a family with people more able than themselves. Things usually work out fine for them so I don't see why this lady feels the need to advertise it so much. If I was someone who knew Otto better and I liked him I'd probably feel embarrassed about people thinking "she's dating him out of guilt" or "there must be a personal benefit here - she's upto something". I can't hlp but feel this might turn girls away from Otto and that's not fair on him :(

He also mentioned the Prince's trust on his Bebo page (I think) don't they have little groups where people with Down's get together and date or anything?

I know this isn't entirely on topic, but one of the comments on his bebo page is just urgh I'm just speechless at the moment in shock how someone could be so. Hmm. I dunno. But yeah.. There's the comment... -_-

"Why is everyone talking to the downy like it's a human?

Although from the way you spell, several of you are probably ♥♥♥♥ing mutants as well"

I saw that too Sorsie. It was the first or second comment there and so disgusting. I don't know how people can walk around with opinions like that and not feel the slightest bit guilty or nasty about themselves. I'm surprised the coment's still there tbh and I'm sure we're not the only people who've noticed it.

... Thing is one could easily argue "I'm fat but I wouldn't like to date someone else who was fat" and seeing as people don't usually have a problem with that she could say it's the "same thing". ...

Hmm, I don't know about people in general, but I think that if you have a [perceived] flaw, then before you expect other people to accept it in you, you should be willing to accept it in other people. Goes for biological flaws as well as personality flaws.

You have a point storm but it was Lucy Baxter who said she'd like to see Otto come home with someone without Down's. She seems very vocal about it all and it's a shame Otto is saying for himself what he'd like. I'd like to know if Otto wouldn't mind dating a girl with Down's. I can understand that most won't be as able and as independent as him so maybe that is one of the major factors motivating him to look beyond others 'like him'. Then again, maybe it's just what Lucy wants for him; the article doesn't go into too much detail and they don't say whether that's Otto's preference or not.

Personally, I'm impressed with the current life Otto has. He doesn't sound like someone with a disability because that's how well he's doing.

I think she wants a girl without DS because she seems to want him to have a life as similar to most other people as possible - which would not involve having a girlfriend with DS.

If the article is true, Otto asked his mum for help - "He persuaded his mother to help him find a partner after three years without success."

I think too much emphasis is put on the fact that he has Down's Sydrome. The lady from the Down's Syndrome Association says that a lot of people with Down's have found a partner and some have gotten married too, so clearly, it's not impossible. If he's having trouble, then it's not all due to having Down's. It's nice that he's advertising himself but the way he presents himself and the way his mother presents him in this article isn't particularly attractive. Might just be the way the journalist worded everything but still, reads more like someone begging, and I don't know that that is a good strategy :s

I agree, the way they're going about things just now isn't very inviting, and isn't geared towards finding a long term relationship. From the quote "the reason is I want to have sex" though, it's clear that's not what he's after (assuming it's true and in context).

We don't know how he was for the last 3 years that he says he's been trying though.

We don't know how he was for the last 3 years that he says he's been trying though.

Yeah, I was thinking that's an important thing to take into consideration. But at the same time, even if he did try a lot and struggled.. I still don't think what they're doing is needed. I know I shouldn't judge and we all make our own decisions.. it's just that I've known plenty of people who haven't found true love for a lot more than 3 years, and still search and wait patiently hoping that it will come one day. I know that someone with DS has a shorter life expectancy though. But at the same time, none of us really know when we're gonna die. We could be 21 with no disabilities, still a virgin, and then die the next day. Hey, it happens.

I feel sorry for them a bit, 'cause it comes across that because he has DS, then that's the reason why he's been struggling to find someone. I think that's silly. Lots of people with different disabilities find love. I actually think he's good looking. I think most, if not all people have a nice feature about them, and that attracts at least one person. I don't think we have to put ourselves down so low to find a partner. It happens when it happens. For me, the way it's been advertised leaves the door open for poor relationships..

That said, it's all done now.. so I hope whatever happens from this will be good for him.. and that he does have a long relationship with someone, if that's what he's looking for.

Who says he's looking for love? He just wants to get laid like a lot of people his age!

I say, go with the prostitute idea. So long as it's safe, both parties know what they are getting out of it and that's that. Nothing sleazy about it, it's just sex.

If he wants to find love, well, that's not so easy to advertise for. He just needs to get out there and meet people, like everyone else. In that case it's better he avoid others with a disability to make it less likely that their kids would inherit it.

I know a few people with Down's Syndrome and they are amongst some of the loveliest people I've met.
Agreeing with the majority of what has been mentioned before, I think the mother has the wrong idea about advertising that he wants a intimate relationship. Surely it's up to him what he wishes to do. I agree with storm in saying that too much emphasis is put on him having DS, it shouldn't make any difference, it's what is inside that counts.

From what ive read and seen of him on the this morning show, i agree with vik, hes a normal young lad with sexual urges ect.
Many young men today go on date sites and escort sites looking for the quick shag option, yes these young lads get frustrated with ds or not thats life.
So what vik said for me is the right option as long as its safe like was said.

Oh noes, another BBC iplayer link.

~25-30 min interview/story with Otto on Natalie Cassidy's Real Britain. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00j8gb5/Natalie_Cassidys_Real_Britain_Episode_3/)

The news story El_Nino linked said it was going to be on, but I figure some people will have missed that/forgotten/whatever.

*** If you live with other people you may want to check your volume isn't too high before you start it, or they could get ideas about you xD

Yeah I saw that. For those of you who haven't seen it yet but will watch it later, UK peeps only I'm afraid, notice the difference in Otto's approach to Hannah (girl with Down's) and all the other girls in the bars/clubs.

I saw Otto say he really liked Hannah and he'd love it if she'd be his girlfriend. On their date ("this isn't a romantic date!" - bless her XD) Otto pulled out his list of things to do with Hannah and he was being really sweet about. Saying they'd go out on this day, he'd like romantic dates, and on Sundays he'd like to stay in bed all day and relax together. Not once did he say "and I just wanna have sex" or similar. I think when he was talking to Hannah he genuinley had some strong feelings for her and he seemed to want a long term relationship and more than just sexual relations.

After that when Otto was out clubbing and was out on the pull, flirting with girls he just made it all about sex and came across as being desperate and horny. At that point I got the feeling he stopped caring about wanting a long term relationship. His chat up lines were related to having sex and he did take things slowly. Anyone could argue "maybe he doesn't know how to be with women properly because he lacks experience" which I thought too but when compared to how he was with Hannah he seemed really into her as a person, took things slower and talked about how he wanted to spend life with her on a daily basis.

That's just my opinion though, did anyone else feel the same way?

Also, Otto said he likes girls with Down's and girls without it. He honestly seemed so happy with Hannah and it's such a shame she said no. Poor guy :( They'd have made a cute couple.

Wow, what a coincidence... I was just talking to a friend the other day about how it seems to me that (Western) society (generally) puts sex up on on some kind of pedestal

I don't ... and putting it in parenthesis doesn't make it less noticable.

Why all this talk of "Western" society anyway? We are a western society. Why talk about us as if you aren't in a western society too?

I don't ... and putting it in parenthesis doesn't make it less noticable.

Why all this talk of "Western" society anyway? We are a western society. Why talk about us as if you aren't in a western society too?

I wasn't trying to "make it less noticable". I was specifying the society I was referring to - not every society is Western and I try not to take it for granted that "society" must always mean the society I am currently living in.

It doesn't have anything to do with being 'in' a Western society or not, it has to do with recognizing that there are different cultures in the world.

I was having a bad day at work. Ignore me!