It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.

Charles Darwin (1809-1882)


Kind of appropriate today don't you think?

An old man on the point of death summoned his sons around himto give them some parting advice. He ordered his servants to bring in a faggot of sticks, and said to his eldest son: "Break it." The son strained and strained, but with all his efforts was unable to break the Bundle. The other sons also tried, but none of them was successful. "Untie the bundles," said the father, "and each of you take a stick." When they had done so, he called out to them: "Now, break," and each stick was easily broken. "You see my meaning," said their father.

Don't let your fears stand in the way of your dreams

Don't let your worries get to you....rememeber, Moses started out as a basket case.

Today is the Tomorrow that you were worried about Yesterday.

~ Billy Thorpe ~ 1946-2007 ~

Ok It's been a couple of days......



GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.

2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time
.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.



GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.



THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus.



SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.

At age 35 success is . . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.

At age 75 success is . . . having friends.

At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way; BUT NEVER forget the little blessings that come each day.

Friends come and go, enemies accumulate

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
By the way, great thread, Bad MaNneR$.

Not a lot of thoughts out there, huh? Here's another one....

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

IF IT TAKES AN HOUR TO DIG A HOLE ????
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DIG HALF A HOLE:eek:

Half the time it takes to dig a whole hole. :razz:

there's no such thing as half a hole. a hole is a hole. xD

anyone who disagrees, YOU try digging half a hole. :D

Depends what size you want your hole to be :razz:

so what? you may be halfway to the size of hole that you want, but it's still a hole. it's not half a hole.

and Buffers, i like your nose, but it's a bit Rudolph-y. Christmas was in December. :P

Gracie hun, it's red nose day for comic relief here in the UK on Friday coming. :biggrin: A bunch of comedians get together and raise money for charity. The public have fund-raisers etc too. My red nose is in honour of that. Info at the following link:

RedNoseDay07 (http:///www.rednoseday.com/)

And you're right.. it's still a hole... but if it's half the size of the hole I need it's half a hole to me, but then I am, by all admission, strange. lol

/me tickles Gracie's feet...:razz:

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

:razz: Im sorry i dug that blooming hole lol.
In fact you cannot dig half a hole i agree

If I may interject here? According to dictionary.com, one of the definitions of hole is..

an opening through something; gap; aperture: a hole in the roof; a hole in my sock.

So, using their example.. If you have a roof two inches thick and "dig" out one inch of it.. Would that not be half of a hole?

The operative phrase there is 'one of the definitions'.

2. a hollow place in a solid body or mass; a cavity: a hole in the ground.
3. the excavated habitation of an animal; burrow.
etc etc

A Fox Hole that is only half built, to the fox at least, could be called half a hole I suppose... but only by the fox really. And I don't think foxes talk. If they do, its very quietly, cos I've never heard one.

Yes, it's very much an operative phrase :smile:

there's no such thing as half a hole.

But see, there IS, so there is only need to prove it for one of the definitions.. Wait, now that I think about it, we've gone WAY off topic

Thought for the day: I heard a fox talk once, but I can't tell you any more than that because he said if I did he would come back and hurt me more..

arrrrgh, i can't believe we've gotten into holes so much.

i'm just going to say this one more time: there's NO such thing as half a hole. a hole is a hole. it may be HALFWAY BUILT, but it is a HOLE. not HALF OF ONE, a HOLE.

for Zach's example: NO, you wouldn't call it HALF a hole, because there's NO such thing. if someone didn't know that there were supposed to be two inches and that it wasn't finished, they would come up and call it a HOLE! NOT HALF OF ONE!

let's say you dig a four-feet deep hole. it's a hole, yes? the next day, you want it to go all the way to China. is the four-feet hole an incomplete hole? NO, IT ISN'T! IT'S A HOLE. A WHOLE HOLE!

geez, i can't believe i care so much about holes. o_O

Ah but my dear gracie, there is such thing as a relative half a hole. If by standard a hole should be of a volume of 1000cc, then a 500cc hole is a half a hole.

but holes don't HAVE a standard! a hole is a.. hollow in the ground. there is no size constraint. a hole is a hole. it may be halfway BUILT, but half a hole doesn't exist. and who says we get to be relative? :P

okay. we're completely off-topic. let's just.. disagree, shall we? because this is kind of a waste of time. :P

Cherry digs a hole and burys herself.
But i find it uncomfortable cause its only half a hole lol, and i need more room.:eek:

A friend in need is a........ pest jewels dad:razz:

No of course women don't work as hard as men...we get it right first time:razz: quoted by women

but holes don't HAVE a standard!But, see! The definition I gave DOES have a standard!

an opening through something; gap; aperture: a hole in the roof; a hole in my sock.An opening Through something, which is to say the standard for the whole is equal to how thick the object you're making a hole through is. Therefore if you go halfway through something, you end up with half a hole.

Now if you look at it from the perspective of another definition, sure it's a hole. But it's still also half a hole!

/me waits for a mod to move all these posts to the chit-chat thread :P

When will we teach our children in school what they are?
We should say to each of them :

"Do you know what you are?
You are a marvel.
You are unique.
In all of the world there is no other child exactly like you.
In the millions of years that have passed
There has never been another child like you.
And look at your body -- what a wonder it is !!!
Your legs, your arms, your cunning fingers, the way you move !
You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven.
You have the capacity for anything.
Yes, you are a marvel.

--- Tamara Robinson

http://www.motivateus.com (accessed at)

When will we teach our children in school what they are?
We should say to each of them :

"Do you know what you are?
You are a marvel.
You are unique.
In all of the world there is no other child exactly like you.
In the millions of years that have passed
There has never been another child like you.
And look at your body -- what a wonder it is !!!
Your legs, your arms, your cunning fingers, the way you move !
You may become a Shakespeare, a Michelangelo, a Beethoven.
You have the capacity for anything.
Yes, you are a marvel.

--- Tamara Robinson

http://www.motivateus.com (accessed at)

Really touching to read, especially when your a mother

TotD (Thought of the Day): Why is it that I find out a new word one day, and for the next week later, I see it everywhere, in the news, parents say it, in the book I'm reading, on iSketch...
Do we become more aware, or is it the Zetas at work? :eek:

/me cues X-file music

If corn oil is made out of corn, and vegetable oil is made out of vegetables, then what is baby oil made out of?

I only ever buy canned food with pictures or serving suggestions on them. EG: Beans on toast. How else would you know what to do with the contents? Not sure about these jars I have with pictures of babies on them though.......................

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously :
1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like, Night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers
4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
14. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
20 Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
25. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
26. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.

Do you know what this is?

http://aycu07.webshots.com/image/11806/2001942967296526262_rs.jpg


That my friends is a 1956 IBM 305 RAMAC hard drive. It weighed over a ton and it consumed about the same amount of power as an apartment building.

Can you guess the capacity of this hard drive?

5 megabytes.

Kinda makes you love your 1GB USB memory drives eh?

Life Lessons

1. Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.

2. How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

3. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live.

4. Working for God on Earth doesn't pay much, but his retirement plan is out of this world......

YOU ARE LIVING IN 2007 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years! of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it!!

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
: )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself.

My thought for this day is,,,,,,,,,,.
What can i do about a husband who snores like a castrated bulldog:eek:

I find that giving a lil nudge helps them roll over a bit sometimes and stop snoring. If it doesn't, just keep turning up your nudge til you reach a kick.......works for me:biggrin:

If tin-whistles are made of tin.....

......what are fog-horns made of?

My thought for this day is,,,,,,,,,,.
What can i do about a husband who snores like a castrated bulldog:eek:
cherry my little sexy froot you could try those breath easy thingies. or just make him sleep with the dogs lol xxxxxxxxxx

luv ya

cherry my little sexy froot you could try those breath easy thingies. or just make him sleep with the dogs lol xxxxxxxxxx

luv ya


Two very good idea,s there babe.
Ill go with the dog option, the further away he is the less chance ill hear the bugger snore

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "

~Frank Sinatra

1. Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.

2. Birthdays are good for you; the more you have the longer you live.

3. Many of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

4. You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

5. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

6. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

7. Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.

8. We could learn a lot from crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and they're all different colours.... But they all have to learn to live in the same box.

Some thoughts to ponder:

-If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
-Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
-If Wal-Mart is lowering prices everyday, how come nothing is free yet?
-Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
-What disease did cured ham actually have?
-Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
-If electricity comes from the movement of electrons, does morality have something to do with morons?

"When people say it's not about the money, it's about the money."

"By definition, a 'holy war' isn't."

"Do not expect a wild night out with someone who refers to mom as 'mother.' "

"Get a dog; no one will ever be as happy to see you."

"What does it say that we know more about Britney and Paris' private lives than of our own loved ones and friends?"

"You never profit from the stock you don't buy."

"The most effective form of birth control is not the pill, but watching 4-year-olds eat spaghetti with red sauce."

"Next time you look askance at someone with a sign saying, 'Will work for food,' keep in mind that we all do."

"Rehab is the new black."

"Computers start up slower if you stare at the screen."

"A friend in need is a friend indeed planning to ask you for a loan."

"It's hard to love a poodle that wears sweaters."

"The more arrogant the man, the less he has a right to be."

"It is unwise to base estate planning on the future purchase of Powerball tickets."

"The surest way to suddenly need a long-neglected item is to throw it out."

"A dropped object always ends up in the most inaccessible corner."

"The more advisable it is for a particular midriff to remain concealed, the likelier it will be exposed at a mall."

"The iPod is the opiate of the masses."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder, except in the case of your ex."

"You're not a real parent until you start emptying Cheerios out of your mini-vac."

"If everyone had to throw their troubles on a pile and pick a batch, you'd probably grab back your own."

"Any CEO who thinks he's worth nine figures isn't."

"The later you are for an appointment, the slower the car in front of you."

"Your career has likely hit a bump in the road if you open the paper and find a "Whatever Happened to ..." story about yourself."

"The most dangerous words in home remodeling are, 'While we're at it.' "

"Never buy a used car if the radio buttons are on hard rock stations."

"Any male who says, 'Winning isn't important,' just lost."

"True adulthood starts when you're glad the phone isn't for you."

And finally:

"Heaven is no doubt the next stop, but just in case, don't blow it while you're here."

ahaha poots i'm loovin those.:razz:


I like Eleanor Roosevelt, she has said some pretty wise things:

Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

This one however, is my favoourite one :

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.

hehe lol:razz:

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

I got sacked from my first job because I smiled too much. I said, "If you don't like how much I smile, get yourself another funeral director then."

Thoughts to Ponder:

-What do people in China call their good plates?

-Why is a person that handles your money called a broker?

-If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

-Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask for the bathroom?

-Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

-Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" have a 'use by' date?

-Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

lol aero, i like the last one. why CAN'T women put on mascar with their mouth closed?


TFTD: just because they use effing capitals on iSketch, it in NO WAY means that they are even just a TEENSY bit smart.

My thought for the day:

" I will pass this way but once. If there is any good I can do, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again......"

Saph xxx

Nice One Sapph.

I like this one about integrity.

If it is not right, do not do it.
If it is not true, do not say it.

Marcus Aurelius

Just this....

If (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UH98J-o9K4)

Son or not... these words mean a lot.

My thoughts for today, are with little maddie.
The little girl who went missing in portugal,
How can parents of such young childern leave them in a hotel room while they go to dinner, not only was they left the parents went out of the hotel complex to eat.
It breaks my heart, kids have a tough job being safely brought in to adulthood these days without careless parents.
What the hell happend here, im watching the news all the time for the latest news on this story, im so upset and angry over it.
The children were 5,, 3,,, and a baby oh my god WHY leave them alone.:cry: :cry: :cry:

"Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts." -E.B. White

Time flies like a bullet , fruit flies like an apple.


My thoughts are with Maddie too Cherry, how desperate can you be for a night out. I would rather have starved than leave those children alone. Have they never heard of Take Away? My heart goes out to the parents...but what a silly, silly, thing to do.

Rules Men Wish Women Knew

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat; if it's up, put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair, ever.

4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.

5. Get rid of your cat.

6. Sunday = Sports.

7. Anything you wear is fine, really.

8. Women wearing Wonder bras and low cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. Crying is blackmail.

11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult that peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

14. Yes, and no are perfectly acceptable answers.

15. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

17. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.

18. If you don't dress like the Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, then we meant the other one.

20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to appear.

22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell how you want it done-not both.

23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

24. You have enough clothes.

25. Nothing says "I love you" like sex.

haha...reminded me of these....

Men's Rules:
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Come to us ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

3. Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during commercials.

4. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

5. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, NOT a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

6. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but it's just not worth the hassle.

7. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine.....REALLY!

8. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as..........baseball, the shotgun formation or golf.

9. You have too many shoes.

10. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
But did you know men don't really mind that? It's like camping!

"Life without art is like cake without sugar. It makes you gag."

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

A GPS system with a map will do you little good if you're in the middle of nothing in Saskatchewan and brought the mapchip of Sri Lanka with you.

Some thoughts on family.

-A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after.

-If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

-I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. -Rita Rudner

-To keep your marriage brimming with love, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up.

-No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

-Discover wildlife! Have kids!

It's been a while since anyone posted in here.......I guess nobody's been doing much thinking?:biggrin:

A 2006 study by Texas A&M University found that the average American walks about 900 miles per year.
Another study by the American Beer Institute found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer per year.
That means, on average, Americans get approximately 41 miles per gallon..............not bad!

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just f♥♥k off and quit stalking me you psycho!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If, however, it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money,
and never appears to have noticed that
you actually set it free in the first place,

You either married it or gave birth to it!

RuthLess bows* to BM's wisdom
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead.
Just f♥♥k off and quit stalking me you psycho!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you love something, set it free.

If it comes back, it was and always will be yours.

If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

If, however, it just sits in your living room,
messes up your stuff, eats your food,
uses your telephone, takes your money,
and never appears to have noticed that
you actually set it free in the first place,

You either married it or gave birth to it!

Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead.

There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

And to counter those thoughts, the 3 very simple reasons it's nice to be guy:

1- No period

2- No childbirth

3- Pee standing up, anywhere, anytime, even in roadstop bathrooms that smell well, like Satan himself had a bad burrito and happened to stop there earlier.

Anything else is just a fringe benefit. :razz:

Boy to friend: "First they guarantee our right to privacy in the Constitution and then they send our report cards to our parents:rolleyes: ."

Pee standing up, anywhere, anytime...
Oh yes. 2 daughters, one son - so much eaasier to take the boy to the park..........

And to counter those thoughts, the 3 very simple reasons it's nice to be guy:

1- No period

2- No childbirth

3- Pee standing up, anywhere, anytime, even in roadstop bathrooms that smell well, like Satan himself had a bad burrito and happened to stop there earlier.

Anything else is just a fringe benefit. :razz:

yes, but we females don't have to deal with 'wet dreams.' :twisted:
plus, we don't smell or sweat as much. xD

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca

yes, but we females don't have to deal with 'wet dreams.' :twisted:
Indeed, not that i ever had such issues. That only happens when boys don't er... excercise regularly.
plus, we don't smell or sweat as much. xD
yeah i'll give you that one, b.o. sucks a bunch, though it's supposed to contain feromones that attract females in heat. Not sure if it applies to homo sapiens, but it's the best i could come up with.

"Storing chocolate in plain sight of the ants is not a good idea"

/me groans
you're a scientist, shouldn't you know how to spell "pheromones" ? i know that no one else cares, but.. lol. and while we're on the subject of spelling, it's "exercise." :P

hmm. sweaty boys. don't think that turns me on, lol.

"For as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."
Proverbs 23:7

hmm. sweaty boys. don't think that turns me on, lol.
Me either.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

* gracie;84944 groans
you're a scientist, shouldn't you know how to spell "pheromones" ? i know that no one else cares, but.. lol. and while we're on the subject of spelling, it's "exercise." :P


I just noticed this now. Yeah you're right gracie, i should. /slap spelling. But there's a good reason why i made that mistake. I've been reading many articles in spanish about these ants and their pheromones, i'm wondering if i can design an experimental procedure to make the pheromones and train ants with them. In spanish it's feromonas. And my boss told me that it'd be a bad idea because nobody would fund that, there's no application. And he's right. My bad. /slap 2.0's.poor.spelling

TFTD: wireless computer mice don't really work if the receiver is not plugged in.

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.

TFTD: It sucks to have to get up in the dark to go to work. But the sunrise and the bird's singing to herald the day are "WOW!"

While listening to radio one on saturday, i heard the funnyest idea ive heard in ages.
I was driving back from haveing lunch with, jewels tupps rabbitrun vik and kisskiss, and the dj was broadcasting from zante in greece.
They was all speaking about how much food is english out there, and you dont see your typical greek dishes so much.
Then this resturant owner comes on live saying he has the best food in zante, its a wait for it, CHINDIAN
RESTURANT, which does both indian and chianese food, or you can have the two dishes together lol.
One women was said to have ordered peking duck with popadoms, while another had chicken vindaloo with prawn toast.
I find that idea really good cause i love indian and chianese but mr cherry will only have indian.
No more deciding where to eat, if it moves over to the uk:razz:

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do
Read the newspaper you are Misinformed."
Mark Twain

Suppose you were an idiot.
And suppose you were a member of Congress....
But then I repeat myself.
-Mark Twain

I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
-Winston Churchill

A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
-.George Bernard Shaw

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-G Gordon Liddy

Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
-James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
-Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
-P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
-Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
-Ronald Reagan (1986)

I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
-Will Rogers

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!
-P.J. O'Rourke

In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
-Voltaire (1764)

Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you!
-Pericles (430 B.C.)

No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
-Mark Twain (1866)

Talk is cheap...except when Congress does it.
-Unknown

The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
-Ronald Reagan

The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
-Winston Churchill

The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
-Mark Twain

The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
-Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

There is no distinctly Native American criminal class...save Congress.
-Mark Twain

What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
-Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
-Thomas Jefferson

if electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons??:eek:

if electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons??:eek:

Heh....... :)

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection??:eek:

My thought is with a very special lady, a very sweet lady and as bold as it sounds, a very sexy lady.
YESSSS YOUUU CUNNYFUNT.
I love the bones of ya girlie xxxxxx

whos idea was it to put an "s" in the word lisp??

THOUGHT FOR THE NEXT 14 DAYS LOL.
Think of me on a beach sipping cold drinks, laying on a lounger sunning my bits.
Eating outdoors cause its to hot inside, swimming in the sea with my kids beside me.
Scuba diving with my hubby, and moonlight walks on a dark deserted beach at night.
Yes do think of me enjoying myself, as ill be thinking of you lot back home.
Hope the rains stops for you all.:razz:

The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what
the advertiser actually thinks. For example:
- If the advertisement says "This is not your father's Oldsmobile," the
advertiser is desperately concerned that this Oldsmobile, like all other
Oldsmobile’s, appeals primarily to your father.

- If Coke and Pepsi spend billions of dollars to convince you that there are significant differences between these two products, both companies realize that Pepsi and Coke are virtually identical.

- If an advertisement shows a group of cool, attractive youngsters getting excited and high-fiving each other because the refrigerator contains Sunny Delight, the advertiser knows that any real youngster who reacted in this way to this beverage would be considered by his peers to be the world's biggest dip.

- And so on those rare occasions when advertising dares to poke fun at the product - as in the classic Volkswagen Beetle campaign - it's because the advertiser actually thinks the product is pretty good. If a politician ever ran for president under a slogan such as "Harlan Frubert: Basically, He Wants Attention," I would quit my job to work for his campaign.

if at first you don't succeed~


skydiving isn't for you...

Pregnancy Q & A & more!

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A: Not unless the word "divorce" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in university.

"OESTROGEN ISSUES"
10 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE "OESTROGEN ISSUES"

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate to your cheese omelette.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your mobile phone to dial up every car sticker that says: "How's my driving-call 0800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8 You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9 You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..

TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND

10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colours.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7.. Fat clothes.
6 Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3.. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.

AND, the Number One thing only women understand:

1. OTHER WOMEN

lol lumiere I was just about to post that one...

so here is a different one......

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think
about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your bra and panties.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a idiott

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Without question, the greatest invention in the
history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

HaHa, Jewels, very funny!

The thought of the day is: "Sometimes it's best to be second in line."

Watch the video, see what I mean:

http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w124/pootsie256/th_cc35d27c.jpg (http://s175.photobucket.com/albums/w124/pootsie256/?action=view&current=cc35d27c.flv)

TFTD.
All the buy one get one free,s in supermarkets these days.
Yes good value but i find with all the extra food i have at home cause of the deals, i throw lots of food away because its not being eaten by the time its out of date.
Bloody waste of food when we have starving kids in this world.

Lucky to be alive !

Lucky to be alive !
Yes agreed we are lucky to be alive, when all around us life is lost for no good reason.
I feel for the loss you recently recived cunny babe, and you know although im not in belfast right now im still with you hun all the way.
:razz:

"The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised."